crossing the finish line

My clothes reflect my soul

In the beginning…

My shopping training began when I was quite young.  I was so young that I don’t even remember the first time that I was end a mall.  Shopping was always a part of my life — Marshall Field’s, Hawthorn Mall and every store on Michigan Avenue.  My life with my mom…we bonded over those marathon sessions at the mall and we celebrated our quick conquests too. I still cherish those times, especially now that she is gone.

My first shopping experience in New York…

South Street Seaport.  It isn’t the home to the biggest designer or even the funkiest vintage shops; it’s a place that they send tourists.  However when you’re 8 years old, you think that it’s heaven.  I actually don’t remember much about that first experience, except buying a New Kids on the Block t-shirt.  Surprisingly, I no longer own that shirt.

My second shopping experience in New York…

It was during a theatre trip while I was in high school.  We were walking around Greenwich Village, and I walked into the coolest, hippest, funkiest boutique of my life (my 15 year old life).  I picked up the cutest and sassiest merlot-colored overall mini-dress.  I found cute Mary Janes to match, too.  Boy, I thought that I was so hip.  I wore that dress all the time for the next three winters.   It made me feel cool, hip and so east coast…everything that I hoped to be in life.

My most recent shopping experience in New York…

Emotional, uplifting and blessed.  The purpose for this recent visit was to go shopping with the amazing Holly Getty.  It was a long time coming.  Yes, we had to reschedule an earlier shopping day because of my play commitments, but I don’t think that I was emotionally ready for this day until today.  Much like my Vision Day with Rob, today was a day that challenged me and made me ask myself if I really wanted to be the version of myself that I see in my head or not.  While I always enjoy shopping and gain lots of energy from the activity, yet there were moments when I felt so overwhelmed. I began to ask myself questions like…

What would people say if I wore this outfit?

Would people judge me negatively?

Do I seem like I’m trying too hard to be someone that I am not?  

Holly made me stop and really deal with these questions.  She asked me repeatedly, “what’s the worst thing someone could/would say to you?” She also assured me that she would not allow me to buy anything that wasn’t me and connected to my authentic style points — witty, whimsical and peaceful.  Like so many people who have come into my life over the last year, Holly asked me if I was ready to stop hiding my true self to make other people comfortable.  Wow, that’s a tough question to answer.  However, I think that I am.  It is time that I allow myself to fully emerge from my grief, guilt, and gloom.  It’s time for me to shine. 

Here are a few picture from the last day and half of shopping….

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This entry was posted on 25/08/2012 by in Life and tagged , , , , .

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